Tricksters & Trouble
by Romance on Express
Summary: After Loki is returned to Asgard, he tries to hide himself away from the world, though suffers boredom. Add a dash of Midgardian technology and a hyper Thor, you get this. Request fic based off Omegle.


AN: Request based off a conversation of digitalromance's that had taken place on Omegle, then posted to Tumblr.  
(digitalromance.~tumblr~

post/24962726793/surrealninja-digitalromance-well-that-was)

(Paste both parts of the link, remove the ~, and click the blurry image for a close up!)

Hope you enjoy!

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Loki sat bored at a large desk, annoyed with his pathetic situation. He had imprisoned himself in a library for the sheer sake of hiding from the nuisances outside, namely his adoptive family. But he was slowly losing patience with himself, as he had discovered he could indeed lose interest in reading after a few days of seclusion. Unfortunate.

Sighing to himself, he considered his options for the evening. He could risk going out to train or simply walk. He scoffed immediately as the thought passed him. His brother would jump at the opportunity to "spend time" together should he know of Loki's whereabouts, and any others he'd come across would spite him. Never mind that. He could continue reading, or organize the library… But he was above such a task, and the books bored him. Green eyes shifted to the bottom desk drawer, holding his last options. He leaned over, scooting the chair back a few inches, reaching down to open the drawers. He stared at two items inside, a flat screen of pictures, currently black, and a short ranged communications device, both a courtesy of Midgard. He pulled them out, carefully laying them of the desktop.

He honestly wasn't sure what was in the screen, since he swiped it from an ignorant Midgardian child. The other device was originally partnered with another, left somewhere without much of a care nearby. Considering the consequences of Thor finding the other part he left behind, it would be a safe bet that the blond would chatter away endlessly should he figure out how to turn it on. But, on the other hand, Loki could just turn his off, and the chatter would end without his brother finding him.

Pleased with his new form of entertainment, he turned both devices on, the communicator making a slight static as the screen flashed to blue. That noise would more then likely get annoying before too long, but he didn't change anything in case his brother did indeed hail him. He propped his feet on the desk, holding the screen on his lap as he stretched out comfortably, the communicator in his other hand.

As the screen took it's time loading its current video, it wasn't long before the other device crackled to more coherent speech.

"POPTARTS!" Well, somewhat coherent.

Loki sighed at Thor's highly energized state as he searched for the button to send his own message back. "No brother, you've had enough."

His brother growled in annoyance before responding. "Why are they so addictive?"

Loki pressed the button again, readying to reply to Thor's 'sugar high', as colour on the screen caught his eye. Instead, he distracted his brother and himself as he finally said "Come and watch this sponge in the shape of a square." It was… interesting. Thor would surely enjoy its complexity, if not its origins.

Thor's fast reply to his conversational change was to keep it focused on the blond, rather then whatever held Loki's attention. "Why did father have to banish me to Midgard of all places...?"

In the library, Loki's eyebrow raised inquisitively as he continued watching the yellow sponge run about its home while talking to a snail. "It's somewhat amusing." he taunted to Thor.

"Sponge…" What could possibly be so amusing to Loki as to pass up a verbal spar with him? His own curiosity piqued, he inquired about the creature. "What does it do?"

Loki's mouth curved upwards as he continued to watch, "It talks. It lives in some form of spiked fruit."

"What realm is it from?" Thor paused, considering the being in question. "I have not heard of talking sponges! Do you think this might be a threat for us brother?"

Loki ignored the absurd question, certain the character on the screen was not physically dangerous. He continued his narration to his brother, not particularly caring whether Thor knew that or not. "There is also a pink shape. He seems to be wearing clothing, yet they are under some form of ocean…" Loki paused, his mischievous mind toying with the thought of stringing Thor along for a game. Why not? It would be harmless fun.

"What is this trickery? It must surely be a threat." He tried to keep his grin from seeping into his false astonishment.

His brother paused. "How does one live in the water and speak?" Thor inquired, suspicion lacing his voice. Surely it was a made up being of Loki's in order to fool him.

Loki continued to toy with the blond on the other end. "I do not know, Thor. I do not know." He made sure to sound a tad panicked.

"This is somewhat frightening." Thor frowned at his brothers words. "What if there is more of them?"

Loki gave the screen another incredulous look, "Their tongues appear to glow in the dark after eating some form of coloured sustenance."

"We must tell father about this!"

The dark haired god chuckled before relaying his next message. "I concur! They must be stopped immediately!" This was getting quite humorous already.

Thor's message came swiftly. "Are you willing to team up with me on this one, brother?" He considered for a moment before quickly asking Loki his next concern. "Are the Midgardians aware of this?" he finished, unease evident in his voice.

Loki scowled at that. Of course dear brother would worry about the lowly humans. "Perhaps I shall. And I do not know, it seems as though they would be. Does it not sound as if they would be aware of something so ridiculous?" Then, carefully, he said "It has Midgard written all over it, now that I consider it…"

"Perhaps it's their secret army…" the blond tried to convince himself. "They hide it in the ocean, in odd shapes and forms…" Thor sounded doubtful, but still worried. Good.

"I told you the Midgardians were nothing but trouble! Did I not warn you?" with the show on the little screen forgotten briefly, Loki's focus quickly changed to his Thor's acceptance of his views.

"I… I guess you did, dear brother. But why would you want to rule such a ridiculous realm?"

"I had my reasons. Besides, with such fearsome creatures as the sponge and pink shape at their command, imagine what we could do with them..." He smiled down at the screen in his lap again recalling to the beginning where the creators name was listed, "We must find this 'Stephen Hillenburg'. That Midgardian appears to be their leader."

"I wonder," Thor considered, "if they have the intelligence to be lead by another rather than a Midgardian…"

Loki took more interest in the screen again, relaying to his brother, "There is now an older sponge present. She appears to be the relative of the younger yellow one." His face scrunched with disgust. "She kissed him. How vile."

"She did what?" Thor nearly choked. "That's like me kissing you! But worse, because they are square formed sponges living in the ocean! If such a thing exists, we have to destroy it brother!"

"He is now conversing with the pink shape." He paused, "I assume it is a he, however, I cannot be certain…"

"Does it have a low voice like me?" Thor questioned.

"Not at all. The pink shape does, though."

"Does it look like Sif in any way?"

Loki nearly rolled his eyes. "Unless Sif looks like a yellow sponge… Actually, yes. I shall say that it does look like Sif..." Concerned for his well being, he added "Don't tell her."

"She fancies you, brother." The blond sibling chuckled deeply.

"Vile" he repeated. "The sponge appears to have facial hair now. Surely it must be male."

"By Odin, of course!" Thor's voice dropped the false enthusiasm to keep focused on his brother's interests. "Do you not like being fancied by her brother?"

Growling to himself, Loki annoyingly hit the communication button "Now the pink shape has usurped the affection of the older sponge!" As an afterthought he bluntly stated "I would rather avoid the topic of conversation."

"Smooth, brother." Thor said, certain the Midgardian term was used appropriately. "Their relationship makes no sense!"

"She is now exchanging affection with the pink shape while the yellow one reads a large book. Perhaps they would be useless as an army."

"Do they only reproduce? Do they have any function in Midgard?"

"They have none at all." Loki frowned, "The yellow one is openly weeping due to a lack of 'sweater with love in the stitches.'" Now he was genuinely confused. "What is this madness?"

"'Sweater with love in the stitches?' Is that some sort of spell?"

"It is none I have ever heard of." The dark haired god replied.

"Perhaps he got cheated on!" Thor added helpfully.

Loki shook his head to himself, "As intelligent as I may be, I fail to understand this lunacy."

"Perhaps because we can't lower ourselves to understand it."

Smirking to the device Loki retorted "Surely you should have no trouble there, Thor."

"Are you insulting me, brother?" Thor's question came swiftly, full of offense.

"… Not at all." Loki said back, losing interest again in favour of the screen.

"Because I shall surely succeed in making you live with the yellow square sponge and his friends!"

"Don't even think on it!" The mischief god mocked.

"Then for once, keep your witty comments to yourself… Or I'll tell Sif you like her."

That got Loki's attention.

"You wouldn't dare!" he hissed into the device, "Are you forgetting who I am? I could make your life horrendous, Thor. Do not test me."

Serious now, the god the thunder continued. "I am still your brother, there is not much you can do to me. But do enlighten me, how would you like to do that?"

"Surely that would remove the element of surprise?" Loki settled back in the chair, at ease to know Thor was distracted from his threat in the mean time. "I do not plan on enlightening you any time soon. Even if I did, I highly doubt you would understand."

Thor sighed, "There you go again, brother. You're one step closer to live in a world where a pink figure is your only friend and enemy. And trust me, you wouldn't look good in pink" he ended in a laugh.

"I would look good in anything, and don't you forget it."

"Come here and let me dress you in pink then. I'll even put a wig on you."

"No! Don't be absurd."

"We'll walk among Asgard telling everyone you're my new woman." The blond joked. "And you'd have a good reason to rule Asgard with me."

Loki sat up again, his relaxed posture sullied by the conversation. "You would be willing to unleash my rage? I am the God of Mischief here, not you." He stopped ranting to consider the possibility of ruling. To himself he said"… Although, that does sound good..." He shook his head to clear it. "No. Stop this, Thor."

"I know you'd want it. Would you rather live with a sponge?" Thor teased back.

"I would not! I will not dress as some mindless maiden in order to rule. I am content as I am." _'Though bored and shamed'_, he thought to himself.

"You might not want to fall asleep dear brother."

"I shall lock the doors and seal them. I'd like to see you try to get in." Never mind he hardly used his room anymore.

"Oh, I have my ways." Thor's tone changed to wistful. "It reminds me of the time where you'd get nightmares and crawled into bed with me."

Loki's cheeks stained red. "Do not speak of that."

"Why should I not?"

"It is in the past. Let it be." The screen caught his attention once again. "There are a lot of green shapes now. With many legs. The main one reminds me of Odin."

"Father only has two legs though…"

"Two that we know of. Perhaps he has more." Loki smirked. "Magic, Thor."

"I'm not as familiar with father's magic…"

"It was in jest. Don't tell him I said that, he would surely rage."

"More blackmail material!" Thor's smile could almost be heard through the device. "I only joke dear brother. But I'd still like to prance around the castle town with you."

'_Single tracked mind'_, Loki thought. "You sicken me."

"You're always welcome. Do you need a bucket-?"

"Hysterical!" Loki nearly shouted into the communicator. "The yellow one has disappeared!" More seriously he said "I will not be shown around like some woman. Your ideas are pathetic."

Thor backed up the conversation, "How does it simply disappear? Where did it go? And no, my ideas are not pathetic. You should be proud I'd take you as my… woman." The sentence was cut off quickly by static; hiding what Loki was sure was a laugh.

"I will not be your woman! I am not a woman!" he put the screen back in its drawer as it switched to black. "Why are we even discussing this?"

"I don't even know, but I like it."

"I do not!"

"I enjoy your raging at times. But you find the sponge to be more interesting."

Loki neglected to mention the sponge was finished. "More interesting than you? Never."

"Oh that's new!"

"Your idiocy amuses me. That's nothing new." Loki reclined back into the chair again, resting a hand to his temple.

"Please cry more brother, you'll come beg for a hug."

"I will not! Don't flatter yourself."

"Fine. Fine…"

"What makes you so desperate to give me one, anyway?" the dark haired god was confused by Thor's current antics.

"I'm not so sure about that yet. Whether I'd like to feel you struggle and escape from my arms or to sooth your pains." A moment of silence past, "And you smell nice." Oh, Loki would ridicule him for that.

"You wish to feel me struggle? You are an odd one indeed, brother. First the dress… Perhaps if you bathed more, you would smell nice too."

"I'm the one whose hair looks and smells amazing. Have you ever heard of conditioner dear brother? I'd like to wash you hair sometime."

Loki's shoulders slumped against the back of the chair. "My hair is fine as it is!" He couldn't believe his brother was discussing this with him. When did Thor start getting so… fond of him?

"Just a bit greasy…"

"You ought to get it cut again brother. How long are you letting it grow?"

Loki startled at the hint in Thor's voice. "Don't go getting ideas." He ran a hand through his long dark hair, tugging a bit at the ends. He really should start considering another cut soon…

"…Or else?"

He threw the locks back over his shoulder. "If you should hope to turn me into some maiden again, I would make you sorry you had ever thought of it at all."

"Hah, that's a sight! I'd fight you, even in a dress. But then again, I could never hurt you."

"Oh? So I would win automatically? The great and powerful Thor, beaten by his brother in a dress." Loki's voice picked up a cheery cadence, more familiar to this particular banter.

"I'd not let you win brother." The blond defended.

"You would not have to let me. I would win regardless."

"Right, so… Who had to pick you up and put a muzzle on you?" Thor's voice picked up the teasing that was suddenly lost from Loki's.

"... That was one time. Let it go."

"I'd do it again, and again." He sighed, pleased, "I love it when you get like this. So very competitive."

Static crackled as Loki didn't respond immediately, knowing he enjoyed the argument as well, despite the insults to his godhood and masculinity. He also felt longing for another bout, another round to try to verbally out perform Thor. He was glad he stashed the Midgardian belongings on his person before returning, but saddened that it had come to his forceful removal by his brother.

"Dinner is ready, so you better show up. You can tell father about your sponge."

Loki started at that. He just said the first thing that came to mind. "Make me." Well, that was mature.

There was another pause, and Loki was certain Thor was laughing at him.

"Fine! No dinner for you!" Without a doubt, he was laughing at him. "What'll you eat instead?"

"Nothing. I do not need to eat half a boar in order to sustain myself. Unlike you…" There, much more dignified.

"You could come home for once."

"So you could embarrass me in front of others?"

"No, that was not my intention, for a change."

"Then what was?" Loki asked, nearly exasperated by his brother's words.

Thor's voice deepened in sincerity. "Because it'd feel good to have you beside me again. As my brother. As family." His tone lightened, "And you can tell all about your sponge and pink… thing."

"Perhaps. I concede that sounds somewhat pleasant." If he didn't discuss the events of the screen. Mother would surely think him ill to be seeing non-existent sponges and pink shapes.

"Or, you could bring poptarts…"

Loki smiled and chuckled "You've had enough. You're beginning to look a little… rotund."

"Are you talking about my stomach? How do you know what it looks like?"

"I can tell through your clothes fool." In the small glimpses he does get of his brother when he went out for food.

"Well then… come home and have dinner with us, brother." Loki's eyebrows shot up at Thor's half-plead.

He scoffed, "So you can get close enough to… hug me? I would say not."

"Oh no, that hadn't crossed my mind a second time dear brother." The thunder god assured.

"Good…" Loki considered.

"So? Will you come home?"

"I suppose. Will you be eating my portion tonight, or will three be enough for you?" he cajoled.

"Three will do just fine; you will have your own."

"Yes, but for how long? I know how greedy you are."

"I will not touch your plate, that is a promise."

The mischief god rose to pace the stacks of books. "You will not touch me either?"

"Will you kick me if I do?"

"Perhaps." Realistically, Loki would elbow his ox of a brother in the nose. But a kick could be so much more threatening…

"You will not mock my hair?"

"I will not mock your hair."

"Fine. I shall return home."

"That is delightful news brother!"

"Be warned, if there is a muzzle in sight, I shall leave immediately."

"How does one eat when muzzled, oh brother?" Does the word 'trap' not exist in Thor's vocabulary?

Loki shook his head, idly browsing the titles on the shelves, most he had read. "It is merely a precaution. We have time, why not turn this into a game? You come find me. I'll even make it easy for you, as I know how bad you are at these games." He jeered playfully.

"Mother will not be pleased if we're late for dinner, brother."

"We will not be late. I'm somewhere you wouldn't think of visiting."

"That sounds promising. I bet it's dark wherever you are."

Loki looked about the library, at the half-closed curtains and randomly lit candles. "Somewhat."

"Do I need a horse?" Thor asked annoyed.

"No."

"That's easy then. I'll start with your bedroom."

"Wrong. Besides, I'm hiding from home." He reminded his brother.

"Well, you used to like to hide there. Then I shall go down to the dungeons."

Loki expelled a breath quickly as he swiped his hair back, "I'm somewhere that almost seems to repel you."

"Now you're making it more difficult. Is it somewhere cold?"

"Not particularly."

"… Are you anywhere near the tesseract?"

"No." He was getting annoyed with his own game already. How encumbersome. "It's a room with a lot of papers…"

"A lot of papers…" Thor sounded like he was running, heavy footsteps carrying over the system. "… Library!"

"Oh, well done brother. You're getting better. Marginally so…"

The blond sighed, the teasing on his intelligence slowly taking a toll. "I'm coming down."

"Don't get lost. I know it's difficult to find a room you've never been to before."

"Quit your mockery, brother!"

Loki nearly giggled, "Make me!"

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It wasn't long before Thor made it to library doors. Slowing his pace, he stepped through the threshold and into the lobby. Peeking behind the nearest stacks of bookshelves, he raises the 'walkie-talkie' to his mouth.

"I'm here. Where are you?"

"Further to the back. Don't panic. Those square objects are 'books', they won't hurt you."

They turned off the devices at nearly the same time, Thor now following the easy sound of Loki's hysterical laughter. He continued to laugh for a good minute after Thor stood in front of him, arms folded unappreciatively. He took the time to survey the rest of the room, curious of the disappearance of the sponge and pink shaped thing.

"Finished, brother?" Thor's voice rumbled from his chest as Loki righted himself.

"Yes, quite. I would apologize, but the implications of your presence right now are quite… humorous."

The blond sibling rolled his eyes. "Enough, brother. Come, or I shall explain to mother exactly why you won't be attending dinner after the promise I made to her that you would."

"You will not but the blame on me for our lateness."

"That is why we're going home now. You can either just follow or I'll take you by the hand."

Loki's eyes narrowed. "You said you would not touch me."

"Then you'll follow."

"I'd rather not. Not if you intend on turning mother against me."

"I will not do so if you would just shut your mouth and follow me home."

"Fine," he circled beside Thor, easily out of reach. "Don't expect me to follow you anywhere else."

"No, we're just going home."

They starting walking out of Loki's secluded sitting area, slowly, still cautious of the other. Worry edged to the forefront of the mischief god's mind as they walked amongst the books.

"What happens after we have eaten?"

"Then we shall talk more. Perhaps we can call upon some friends."

"'Friends'? I would not say I have too many…"

"They are still your friends, despite what has happened."

"After all I have done? I did not think it possible." _'Or worth considering the possibility of...'_

Thor clapped a hand on his brother's shoulder in support. "You wait and see…"

"And if you're wrong?" Loki turned to the slightly taller god, halting them both. "If this meal should be awkward for everyone? Perhaps I would be better off remaining in the library."

"Oh no, don't you dare step back now brother!"

"This will surely be a disaster…"

"No it will not." He placed both hands on Loki now, leaning in to meet his eyes clearly. "Why are you suddenly like this brother?"

"Suddenly like what? Concerned I will make a fool of myself? Concerned this will be an unmitigated disaster?"

"The backing out. You, who always stands tall."

Loki turned his face away, green orbs avoiding blue. "You're right for once…"

"…Then let me take you elsewhere."

The dark haired sibling looked back to Thor, frowning. "Elsewhere?"

"Where you do not need to face father or mother."

"Why do you still care for me?" one of his hands reached to grasped the blonds, emeralds imploring for answers, understanding.

Thor leaned closer, as if to tell a secret. Softly, he said "You are my brother, the only friend I have ever had who I can tell all to. You have never let me down."

Loki hung his head. "You care too much."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"You have no need to." His head whipped up again, eyes defiant. His fingers tightened on Thor's armor. "I am perfectly capable of looking after myself. I don't need you…"

"You… you really don't need me?" Thick fingers dug into Loki's shoulders.

"Why does that bother you?" the dark haired god laughed mirthlessly, "I've said worse."

"It's not those small insults you make. But things like these…" Thor stopped himself, shaking his head low. "I miss you as my brother, as my friend…"

"Don't be so sentimental." Loki nearly pulled away at the emotion flashing across the thunder gods' face.

"Let me be!"

He leaned over, mouth hovering over Thor's ear. He murmured "You cannot truly care for me as much as to turn a blind eye to my crimes."

"Look at me!" the blond all but bellowed, "I have made mistakes too, brother."

Emerald flashed venom at those words. "I am a murderer, or have you forgotten? You seem to care little about what I have done."

"I can not word these feelings I have right now to explain myself to you."

"Why ever not? Try."

Thor stood straighter, but continued avoiding the mischief gods' eyes. "No, because I'd look even more like a fool."

"Please."

"It'd sound like a joke to you, Loki."

He paused in his interrogation. His brother was sincere in his body language and voice. How could this be made into a joke? "…Most things do. Try anyway. Just tell me." He assured.

Thor sighed, giving into the trickster's desire. "I have always looked up at you brother, you have always been the wisest. When I returned and father told me about what happened, I could not feel anything but guilt and anger. It made me realize even more that, no matter what, you are my brother and you always will be. We can't change that which has happened, but all I want is to have you back."

"… As you wish." Loki said, far too understanding of the heartfelt pain Thor must be experiencing. Its twin was restless in his own chest.

"Then, come with me…" Sapphire eyes rose to meet emerald.

"Alright. Don't expect me to say it too often, but I am sorry, Thor... Well… a little bit."

"I am sorry, too."

They straightened themselves, readjusting armor and clothing.

"…This meal better be worth it. All this talk has made me rather hungry."

"Let us hurry before we are in trouble with mother. I rather not have my face covered in father's spit at her behest."

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AN: Holy-almost-ten-pages-in-word Batman!  
Like it? Hate it? Love it? Let me know!


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